Skip to main content

COUp Constitution (2000)

The Constitution of Carolina Otaku Uprising: the Japanese Animation Club
July 9, 2000

Article I: Name, Motto and Purpose

  1. This organization shall be known as the Carolina Otaku Uprising: the Japanese Animation Club. Whenever confusion arises, it may be referred to as the Japanese Animation Club, the Anime Club, or just COUP.
  2. The motto of COUP shall be “Swift Bokken Justice!”, which in English means “Lay the smack down quickly with wooden swords.”
  3. The purpose and philosophy of COUP shall be defined as to promote personal enjoyment and cultural awareness through the viewing of Japanese animated films and whatnot. Members shall work towards the otakunization of the human race, and eventual global conquest.
  4. We are willing to start small, though.

Article II: Membership

  1. Membership shall be open to all students or non-students by attending a meeting. There is no application, nor is there any regard to race, age, color, gender, sexual orientation, disability, veteran status, national origin, religion, personal history, criminal record, favorite color, or pizza topping.
  2. In short, membership is open to anyone who expresses interest in Japanese animation and is willing to watch subs by Hecto, Arctic, and the occasional dub.
  3. Actually, even if you don’t have interest in anime you can still come, so long as you keep quiet.
  4. You don’t necessarily have to keep quiet, as long as your heckling is funny – and that means funny for others in the club, not funny to yourself.

Article III: Meetings

  1. Meetings shall be held weekly, or at a frequency the assembly deems best in the future; on campus or at least within campus’ wheelchair-accessible range.
  2. Special meetings may be called by three or more officers, given at least 48 hours’ notice.
  3. Not-so-special meetings may be called by anyone, at any time.

Article IV: The Anatomy of COUP

  1. The Big Nine consists of the elected [or maybe not-so-elected, or maybe just assumed] positions.
  2. The Inner Circle consists of them, plus other people who show up to planning meetings and such. The number cannot be assigned or quantified. If you are in it, you will know.
  3. The Faceless Minions are the meat [or at least the potatoes] of COUP. Just because you don’t know their names doesn’t make them less important.

Article V: People Who Do Stuff

  1. COUP’s Big Nine [in no particular order]:

    a. Director of Bringing in Cool People [a.k.a. Publicity] b. Chief Penny-Pincher [Treasurer] c. Mistress of Pain [GLOCK Head] d. Captain N, the Keymaster [Key Guy] e. Director of Misinformation [Secretary] f. Enforcer [Enforcer] g. Rurouni Buchou [President] h. Battousai Buchou [Another President] i. Chim Chim the Webmonkey [Webmaster]

  2. Just as in Giant Robo only three of the Big Nine had a purpose, it is not necessary to have nine people to fill out the Big Nine at all times. Don’t sweat it.
  3. It is useful [for official recognition forms and whatnot] to have at least G, E, B and A. Remember, UNC wants to know that there are four people in your club.
  4. It is good to change members of the Big Nine from time to time, so that when someone graduates, you aren’t left with a bunch of people who don’t know how to do anything.
  5. Executive officership (copresidencies, secretary, and treasurer) is open to all members of COUP, as long as you are a student.
  6. Other Big 9 positions are open to any memeber of the club, with no regard to status of student.

Article VI: Executive-like Officers

  1. The offices approximating to ‘president’ are the Rurouni and Battousai Buchous.
  2. The Rurouni is the president that everyone likes; they may wander, but eventually come to meetings and preserve the peace, keeping the members happy through wacky and ultimately entertaining schemes.
  3. The Battousai is the president that gets things done, if messily and with a lot of flashbacks.
  4. The Rurouni and Battousai often exchange places, with no forewarning, thus one Buchous could be nice and likable one moment, and then leap into flashback and get stuff done.

Article VII: Finances [Or Lack Thereof]

  1. The Chief Penny-Pincher shall be empowered to sign checks for COUP, with committee authorization. He shall provide for the excessive groveling needed to obtain Student Government funding, if such is so desired, and be instrumental in devising new schemes to create money. At least 25% of these plans should be legal.
  2. If the CPP is incapacitated [i.e.: sick, absent, too lazy to take the Student Government test] the President will have jurisdiction to cut checks with committee approval. Which president shall be decided by ritual dueling. Acceptable weapons include swords, pistols, janken and Puzzle de Pon machines.

Article VIII: Publications

  1. The Fanzine

    a. The body shall put out a publication [hereafter referred to as ‘zine’] every year, semester, or as creativity and finances allow.
    b. The one spearheading this effort [read: doing most of the work] shall be the Director of Misinformation
    c. Zine material may come from many sources. Exploit your faceless minions.
    d. Good places to distribute the zine are conventions. Consult with your treasurer.

  2. The Website

    a. In this information age, it is becoming more and more important to have a presence on the Web.
    b. Okay, who are we fooling? We just think it’s neat. Fulfill your narcissistic urges.
    c. The website, maintained by the Webmonkey, should have the following information:
    – meeting time and location
    – viewing schedule
    Anything else is optional.
    d. Please update at least once a session.

Article IX: More Officers

  1. Effort shall be made at least once a semester to publicize COUP meetings. That is the Director of Cool People’s job. Posters, word of mouth, chalking sidewalks, newspaper ads, painting the cube, wearing a sandwich board… that’s all you, kid.
  2. It is nice to be able to enter the room we’re supposed to be watching cartoons in. The Keymaster makes sure the room has an open door and a VCR. He also is entrusted with a key to the office, along with the presidents [if sufficient keys exist].

Article IX.V – Relics

  1. Relics are things that, for one reason or another, have attained semi-legendary status among the whole club, or at least a major portion [more than 2/3rd] of the Inner Circle [new Inner Circle members, who don’t know about the relics yet, don’t count].
  2. Anyone possessing all the relics for a period of 500 years, wins the game, because they obviously have the best Empire.
  3. Whomever possesses the majority of the relics in the club shall be deemed the Keeper of the Relics. This title shall confer no special rights or privaleges, other than having all the stuff, but still sounds cool [kind of].

Article X: Bad Things

  1. Here in these parts, we don’t need none o’ them o-TAku comin’ around stirrin’ up trouble with that there’n Japanimation.
  2. Thusly, any behavior deemed annoying and excessive, such as high-pitched bishounen squealing or any imitation of pokemon shall first be met by a verbal warning. Any further instances shall be grounds for Punishment, which may range from verbal abuse to sacrifice to the grease dumpster. Exact penalties shall be left to the body.
  3. The Enforcer enforces the laws printed herein, as well as maintains a code of conduct so that COUP is less likely to be ejected from their meeting rooms by University Police. If the situation demands, Punishment shall come quick and deadly from above, ala the Enforcer. Aku, Soku, Zan.

Article XI: Affiliates

  1. Gorgeous Ladies Of COUP: Kenshin Chapter

    a. Sub-committee. Promotes shoujo manga, anime and doujinshi. Probably the only group anywhere in favor of showing Patarillo.
    b. Headed by the Mistress of Pain. Some fear the GLOCK, consult her to know why. Those averse to yaoi and high-pitched squealing are forewarned.
    c. Should a man ever be named Mistress of Pain, he is still a ‘mistress’. Deal.

  2. UNC Kendo Club

    a. COUP’s athletic branch of kendo enthusiasts — or at least people interested in whacking things with blunt objects.
    b. To gain sub-committee status if they get lessons or otherwise start having something to do with kendo.
    c. Kendo club members will consult with one of the Bachous or the Enforcer before partaking in officially sanctioned sessions of whacking things with blunt objects.
    d. Headed by the End of the World, who shall also stand as one of the Big Nine. Should none of the other Big Nine be willing to accept the position of End of the World, the title falls unto the Enforcer. Should there be no Enforcer, the ‘office’ shall remain vacant until one of the Big Nine shall pull a Red Neck Katana from another of the Big Nine’s chests.
    e. There shall be no replacing of the Red Neck Katana in the chests of others. Blunt weapons are for whacking of things, not poking.

  3. Other groups COUP members are part of may be used as strategic allies as situations require.
  4. New affiliates may be created by forming a group and asking the Big Nine/Inner Circle if it’s okay. If they say no, deal. [a.k.a. better luck next time.]

Article XII: Legality of the Constitution

  1. This constitution shall become legal when I darned well say it’s legal. Keep talking back and I’ll wash your mouth out with soap, young man.

Article XIII: Installation of Officers

  1. Officers aren’t really installed per se… Positions are rather assumed. Usually Big Nine members choose their successor [subject to Big Nine approval]. Else, anyone deemed fit by the Inner Circle is eligible to be named a position.
  2. When there is a passing of the torch of one of the Buchous, or there is a graduation of a special member [you can tell a special member because when they tell you they are you will believe them], there are special, secret ceremonies. They are so special and so secret, they cannot be included here. Sorry.

Article XIV: Legacy

  1. We believe that children are our future. We must teach them well and let them lead the way. Towards that end, COUP shall leave a legacy for future potential otaku of UNC. This shall be in the form of a special collection of animation videos in the audio/visual section of the Undergraduate Library.
  2. At least once a session, the body shall donate at least one anime to the Ugly video collection. This will require actual, legal tapes to be purchased, so realize ahead of time that money will have to be acquired in some fashion.
  3. Said video tapes may be emblazoned with a self-serving label recognizing that COUP donated it, much in the same way many of the books of the library sport stickers telling of their donation by Di-Phi. [or at least the ability of Di-Phi to add stickers to books in the library, regardless of who donated them.]

Article The Last: Future Interpretation & Etc.

  1. The contents of this constitution are law in stone and should be followed to the letter. Sieg Heil!
  2. The above point is wrong. This entire work is tongue in cheek — please use this as a basis for guidance if all else fails. Leave the governance squabbling for Di-Phi.
  3. Always remember: the world is love and peace! Your memories always make you smile. Let COUP light the fire to your heart — something so big, it takes both hands. Allegiance or Death! Big Fire!
  4. [Not for Sale or Rent]